Trauma – Now It’s Time to Release Your Outdated Story
What is Trauma?
Trauma is the emotional and mental imprint left on us after overwhelming or distressing experiences. These events can include natural disasters, accidents, abuse, or sudden loss of a loved one. Trauma can show up in various forms, including anxiety, depression, and PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Many survivors may struggle to manage their emotions, which can affect their daily lives and relationships.
Understanding the Effects of Our Suffering:
Trauma can shape our thoughts, behaviours, and emotional health long after the event has passed. Its impact is deeply personal. Our mindset, energy, personal history, support systems, and coping tools all influence how we process and recover from what we have been through.
Some people may find strength and healing over time, while others may struggle for years. Approaching trauma with empathy and awareness is essential. Many people need professional support to navigate their emotions and begin their healing journey. When we create safe spaces and open conversations around trauma, we help people feel less alone and more supported as they move towards recovery.
Getting Caught in an Endless Cycle:
Understanding trauma in a general sense is important; however, understanding how it plays out in our own lives is where real healing begins.
As a certified NLP coach and someone who has personally lived with the challenges of CPTSD (Complex Post‑Traumatic Stress Disorder), I’ve come to see that we hold the power to either ease our pain or extend it. Recognising how our choices influence our emotional responses has been an important part of my own healing.
Many of us fall into the habit of reliving past traumas, replaying painful memories whenever something triggers us. This cycle can be exhausting, pulling us back into old moments of fear or distress. When we continually focus on the painful parts of our past, we unintentionally give them power over our present.
To break free from this cycle, we need to shift our focus towards healing and growth. This shift in how we view things can change our connection to the past and help us develop a more stable and positive outlook. It not only lessens our pain, it also gives us the power to take back control of our lives. Looking at things this way helps us to move forward with strength, kindness, and a greater sense of opportunity.
Releasing the Outdated Story:
There comes a moment in every healing journey when we realise that the story we have been carrying is no longer the truth of who we are. Trauma may have shaped our reactions, our beliefs, and the way we see ourselves. However, it does not have to define our future.
As someone trained in NLP, I’ve learned that our mind is always listening to the stories we repeat. When we replay old memories, our nervous system responds as if the past is still happening. This is how we become trapped in an endless cycle, looping through the same emotions, the same fears, and the same patterns.
Once we recognise the loop, we open a doorway to healing our trauma:
Releasing an outdated story does not mean denying the trauma. It’s about moving forward and not letting the pain define us.
By being mindful, we can adopt the mindset of:
“This happened to me; however, it does not define me.”
Making this separation allows us to relax and reclaim parts of ourselves that may have been buried beneath the demands of survival.
Releasing the old story is not a single moment. It’s a practice. Each time we choose compassion over self criticism, each time we pause instead of spiralling, each time we speak to ourselves with kindness, we rewrite the narrative.
Healing starts with awareness, choice, and the courage to see beyond our wounds, with compassion.
Escaping the karmic loop:
To escape this cycle, we need to redirect our attention to our healing and personal growth. This shift in how we view things can change our connection with the past and allow us to develop a more stable and optimistic outlook.
It not only lessens our pain, it also gives us the power to take back control of our lives. Looking at things this way helps a person to progress with strength, kindness, and a greater sense of opportunity.
Releasing Your Trauma:
This is a Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) inspired release exercise:
This simple exercise can help you let go of the emotional hold of an old story and make room for a new one. You do not need to revisit your trauma, just observe what you are feeling inside.
1. Begin with a Soft Pause:
- Find a comfortable seated position and take a deep breath in.
- As you exhale, allow your shoulders to relax.
- Focus on being present in the moment.
- Just observe and be aware of your current energy.
2. Gently Bring the Old Story to Mind:
- Think of the story you have been carrying.
- Not the whole memory of your trauma, just the emotional feeling of it.
- Notice where it sits in your body.
- Is it heavy, tight, warm, cold, buzzing, or distant?
There is no right or wrong. You are simply observing.
3. Notice the Shape of the Story:
In NLP, we often explore how the mind represents experiences.
Ask yourself:
- Does this story feel close or far away?
- Is it sharp or blurry?
- Still or moving?
- Loud or quiet?
- Light or dark?
- You are not analysing your trauma; you are simply observing how your mind retains your emotional experiences.
4. Gently Shift One Small Detail:
Choose one element and soften it.
For example:
- Move the image a little further away.
- Turn down the volume.
- Blur the edges.
- Dim the brightness or lighten the darkness.
- Slow the movement.
- This small shift tells your nervous system: “I am safe enough to change my relationship with this memory.”
5. Bring in a New Resource:
- Imagine a quality you desire more of: calm, strength, clarity, compassion, self-love, or hope.
- Picture this quality as a colour, a light, or an energy.
- Let your chosen quality move towards the old story, embracing it like a gentle hug.
- You are not erasing your past; you are reclaiming your power and refusing to let the trauma control you.
6. Anchor the New Feeling:
- Place your hand on your heart or your belly.
- Take one slow breath and say quietly: “This story is changing. I am changing.”
- Let your body feel the calming shift.
7. Return to the Present:
- Look around the room.
- Now notice 3 things you can see, 2 things you can touch, and 1 thing you can hear.
- You are back here, in this moment. Not in the past.
Repeat these exercises often to develop a feeling of separation from the emotions tied to your trauma. This space allows you to look at your trauma more objectively, without being overwhelmed by intense feelings.
Stepping Into a New Story:
Healing from trauma involves reclaiming the parts of ourselves that we buried, rather than suppressing the memories. Every moment we become aware, every little change we make, and every conscious breath we take helps create a new narrative formed by our choices, not just by our instinct to survive.
- You don’t need to transform everything at once.
- You don’t need to feel “ready.”
- You only need to take one small step at a time.
When we gently update the memory, even if it’s just a bit, we create space for something new to emerge. A different belief. A different response. A new way of seeing ourselves. Slowly, these small adjustments lead us in a new direction. Steering us away from the endless loop and towards a life that feels more secure and more aligned with who we truly are.
Your past may have influenced you; however, it does not own you. Your story is ongoing, and you have the ability to shape it with compassion, clarity, and courage.
This is the beginning of your journey. This is the moment you embrace a new chapter in your life.
About the Author
I have training in various holistic and non-holistic healing methods, including NLP, EFT, hypnotherapy, shamanic practices, and Reiki, among others. My knowledge extends to Ayurvedic medicine, astrology, and more. Although I no longer offer hands on healing, the insights I’ve gained continue to influence my writing and reflections.
